What's this emotional stress I feel up in my head now?
It's so heavy...
What exactly do I feel now?
Do I feel like crying out loud?
Or do I feel like just taking it all in?

I really can't tell.
As much as I can, I'll change.
For the better.

No matter how much I'll have to endure.
I will do it
No matter what.

Never again will I lose another close fren
Never again will I feel the sorrow of such

I must strive to improve
And improve I will.
忍！！！

Y'know, i'm just simply amazed at how much you've changed.

First, you changed me to become a slacker by saying nvm for almost everything you didn't do, then, you just changed into this hardcore mugger, and start dao-ing me like i was non-existent.

Dun try to act nice by smiling at me when you see me, coz i noe it's a goddamned mask.

Dun think i'm stupid k.

I know everything that's going on, i just prefer to keep my mouth shut.

But now, anger boils inside of me, as i recall the past.

You just totally disappoint me. Such a fren eh?

It just seems to me that you become frens with ppl to find out their good/bad sides, and if their bad sides are bad, u juz dun acknowledge them as your frens anymore. If they're good, u stick to them like some dog.

Seriously, stop acting like you're a nice person.

In grp project, u go ard telling ppl i didn't help, when i found some info. Sure, it might not be relevant, but in my email i stated that IF IT WAS IRRELEVANT U CUD ASK ME TO REDO MY RESEARCH. Are u blind or wad? I stated that, and u juz treated that like some kind of shyt, and dao-ed it. Then u went ard telling ppl i didn't help at all. What is ur motive? To badmouth me?

I guess you know what cyber-bullying is, so i recommend u delete ur posts calling ppl bastards, coz i noe it refers to me. In that post, u whine that no1 helped u, and u solo-ed the whole project. Oh how true it is! When i stated that I could redo my research, u dao-ed it. WTF is this? You think you're some great person? Just be glad i'm stating my thoughts here, and not going all out to identify hu u are.

So seriously, i shud be glad you're out of my life. Juz get out. I feel like exploding with a whole horde of vulgarities, but i can control myself, unlike u. Plz just stop acting, it disgusts me. Just b'coz u may be more popular and whatnot, it doesn't mean that u can go ard badmouthing me to ur close frens. Just STFU man. Seriously.

Over the past 2 days (today and yesterday), most of my day was spent at the one-star kayaking course at Pasir Ris Water Venture. o.O

Kayaking is fun!! :D haha had quite some fun throughout this course, though of course the requirements to pass were still quite high. We were split into 3 groups, and my group's instructor was someone called (in short) "Van". o.O yeh. He is THE MOST crazy instructor ever! Shifting from being strict to being damn uber funny and humorous. LOL.

He gave nicknames to all of us in his group >:D mine was damn unglam at first de lor. Lucky he changed it in the second day coz my original nickname was too long :D

So the first day... basically, we learnt... the basics. DUHH. come on! which retarded person wud teach advanced stuff to a bunch of "noobies" whom they think haven't kayaked before huh? haha xD actually we kayaked before, during ATC this year. so we knew some of the basics. the only thing that was new to us was, learning how to capsize. Haha capsize damn cool la! It's like, u force ur own kayak to turn upside down using ur body weight leaning down on one side, then u go down with it. Then u hav to get out of the kayak, while holding on to ur paddle. Sounds easy? NO. LOL. many people let go of their paddle >_> So the procedure for our capsize drill had an added step: when we turned ourself over, we were not supposed to get out first, and instead tap the kayak while we were underwater 3 times O_O!! to test our water confidence la. Haha i passed on the first try :D whereas some people like J** Y** took like 5 failures before he could get it right. =P
So basically we learnt, how to move forward, reverse, steer, capsizing, and draw stroke. Draw stroke is cool la! Though a bit hard to execute. coz the currents >_>. There's 2 kinds of draw stroke, the J draw, and the classical draw. We learnt the J draw o.o Draw stroke is used to move us to the side, without the kayak movin forward or backwards. So it's pretty useful when we forming raft (kayaks side by side, hold on to the combing of the kayaks beside us to maintain a raft). So the first day was pretty slack la, but still pretty tiring >_>

OH YA!!! THE WATER GOT JELLYFISH!!!!!!! :D DAMN FUN TO TRY TO CATCH THEM WITH THE PADDLE!!!!!!!! :D and then our instructor v.cruel, accidentally killed one jellyfish on the 2nd day -.-lll. he caught a jellyfish, then put it on his bow(front of boat), and then accidentally smashed it with his paddle -.-lll. INHUMANEEEE!!!!!! the first day was quite cute la, regarding jellyfishes. he caught a jellyfish, then he go poke it with his hand -.-, then we saw that the jellyfish's food that it had juz caught was a fish, coz the jellyfish spit it out coz the instructor was poking it -.-lll. lol~~

2nd day, more demanding la. Taught us the classical draw stroke, we learnt the J stroke on the first day. Almost the same la, except the classical draw doesn't require us to take out the paddle from the water, whereas the J draw requires that. So the classical draw is actually faster coz it doesn't waste time taking out the paddle. But actually, it's up to our preference -.-. Then we learnt rescuing. before i go onto that, i wud like to say: *#)!@*#)@! ZI JIE DIDN'T KENA CAPSIZED!!!!! *@)#*!@#. ok. :D so at first after the instructor taught us the theory for capsize, and showed us using some of us, we broke off into groups of 3 to practice. So, i partnered with Zi Jie and Mr Hee Poh Shin. So first was Mr Hee capsizing, i was the rescuer, and zi jie was the assistant aka calefare (LOL). I shan't say the procedure here, coz i lazy type :P So at first, Poh Shin capsized, the kayak was pretty heavy la. Oh ya the procedure called Rafted TX Rescue. Pretty nice name eh? Needs 1 victim, 1 rescuer, and 1 assistant. Ya, so at first, Poh Shin capsized, successful rescue. Thank me xDDDD. Heh. but the kayak was pretty heavy, coz i had to pull it out of the water, and onto the bow of me and the assistant's kayak, and the kayak is like 18kg without the water that would have seeped in when it capsized. X.X GG. but still, ya, i saved Poh Shin :D. ok, then next i capsized.

Yknow what, I WOULD HAVE "DIED", if it weren't for the shore. Coz it's like, i capsize, then the rescuer(zi jie) was having so much trouble trying to lift the kayak up. So yknow what? By the time the kayak was 1/4 up onto their kayaks, my butt touched the shore -.-lll. We reached the shore le. We drifted like 10m? O_O. Pretty nice eh? So i was "saved" by the shore, not the rescuers -.-lll. Should go sue them =P but anyways, that's not the exciting part of the day. The climax of the day was when we kayaked out into DEEP WATER, and then some of us would kena CAPSIZE by the INSTRUCTOR. (O_O random CAPS)

So when we kayaked into the deep water, then i was one of the three who kena capsized -.-lll. but oh well, at least this time I got saved! :D haha. but it's pretty tough to get onto the kayak from the water -.-lll. but still, haha i sadistic de. I was down there in the water floating with my PFD (Personal Floatation Device, sth like Life Jacket), slacking and enjoying the sky, while my rescuer was busy trying to pull the kayak up onto his kayak to drain the water out. LOL. HAHAHAHHAA. >=D

So after that was the last activity of the day le. We learnt the skill "Stern Rudder". Pretty cool. can steer the boat a bit without stopping the boat. :D pretty cool for rafting too. But i didn't use it -.- lol. i juz use draw stroke. So after that, the final activity was 15 mins of free time!! haha. pretty fun xD. We were kayaking near the shore, trying to spot jellyfish to catch XP. but not a lot =( some people got kena capsized by my groupmates, namely Hazel and Qian Joo. LOL. but they didn't capsize me xD coz one of my shoes alr broke when i capsized in the deep sea, coz the shoe was alr gonna spoil, so they didn't want to spoil my other shoe, if not how i go back to the uhh, place. So after that we went back, washed up, debrief, then go home le lor.

After that, me, sek ee, jing yee, kwan hao, wei xiang and zi jie went to macs to eat. DAMN FUNNY LOL. but if i write wad our convo was about here, it would not be funny, so i will not type it out :P in summary, our convo started from giving 4 McBones (my eaten McWings) to J** Y**, then it kept "evolving". Damn funny lol, especially the last one from Kwan Hao. Then the person sitting behind us told us to shh =X oops. So we zhao le lo. Then go home le lo.

Oh ya, i juz realised i forgot type out some of the more popular nicknames in my group. LOL. DARN FUNNY DE. So at first, Hazel was called Man-Voice, coz her voice more low. that rly made us laugh. Then halfway thru sth the instructor was teaching us, he saw hazel and kent talking to each other, looking at each other. So Kent from then on, was called Man-Voice's Boyfriend. LOL. Then Zi Quan, at first, was called Chao Hongster. DAMN FUNNY LOL. Coz he told my instructor that his arm had been fractured sometime early this year, then my instructor said that it's coz he try to hong other people GF then someone push him down the stairs. LOL. But in the end, we ended up calling him Fractured Arm. XD Another funny one was Qian Joo. The instructor called her Ah Lian coz he said that she gave him a gangster sort of look. Then the instructor followed on to say that she look like those type of ppl hu burn ppl house de. Then he asked Qian Joo if she burned anyone's house before or not. Then she stopped, thinked, and replied "Maybe". LOL Then my instructor act shocked, and then keep saying "dun come near me". LOL. So that's how Qian Joo's nickname Ah Lian came from. Zi Jie was called Crammed Feet, coz his feet couldn't fit comfortably into his kayak, even after adjusting the foot rest -.-lll.

Mine is actually called Man-Voice Whack Butt, coz the instructor saw wrongly. He thought that hazel's paddle hit my butt -.- when it was actually it was GOING to hit, budden i use my hand push it away o.o. Luckily, 2nd day(today), the instructor dunno how he talk until drift off to Halo. Then he asked hu played Halo, i said me, played until Halo 3. So he called me Halo 3 -.-lll.

Well, imma end my post here, pretty long -.-lll. Lemme scroll up to see how long. WOAHHHHHHHH. @(0_0)@ no wonder take so long time to type la >.< ok shall end my post le. Bye all, and to those who wanted so badly for me to post, i.e. Bev and RZ, thank me kk :D coz i posted. and quite a long one at that. :D haha byeeeee

Hi peepz. here to make a small update :o

END OF EOYS!!! :D YEHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CAN SLACKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!

Heheh.. =P but idk what to post =/
Rly dun wanna post about EOYs coz i hav decided not to think about it for the time being =P
So any ideas on wad to post?
Now currently w8ing for the hunter's horn hehe. then go sleep le >_>

Nights people. :D

Gratz me to my 100th post :o but i nt sure can count nort, coz this is juz gonna be a v.short post :D

OMG WTF SpONGEBOB ON OkTO JUZ WEnT "ALL ThAT GLIStERS IS NoT GOLD" ZOMGZOMGZOMG SHAKESPEARE Merchant Of Venice MASTER WTF.

I realised sth after today.

Sth not surprising at all.

KAI XIONG IS A MAD BULL KK.

Today went grandparents' house, then me, kai xiong, kai jun (youngest bro), and 2 cousins went to play basketball. Actually was 6 person de, including another cousin, but he had to go home when i went to join them playing their game =.=

So we went to play, then is like 1st game i played with them - me, kai xiong 1 team. rest - another team. OWN =.=

Then change team. Team 1 - Me, kai jun and teh other youngest cousin. Team 2 - Kai xiong teh bull, and the other cousin. I was like wtf, kai xiong, chiong like *#)*!@# de like solo one sia. Then i go try to intercept, he use his back face me while furiously dribbling towards the net =.=

Wdh, u shud see how he chiong. Act pro - SOLO SIA. budden his shots all miss de -.- when i team with him in the 3rd game. OWN, but i score de -.- kai xiong shoot and miss =.=

Kk out of point. Point here is : KAI XIONG IS A FRIGGING MAD CHIONGSTER BULL.

Kk end of post. Bai. Kai xiong thank me for compliment hor~

Heh shall blog about some emo stuff i was tapping into my hp in school coz i was confused and angry =/

Feeling: confused, angry.
If u wanna ask why i'm so emo at times, u can go direct that question to my frens. Ask them if they feel good about it. Yeah, good job friends, good job at pangseh-ing me time and again. I really appreciate it. Thanks a lot.

To think you guys can still come back to class, smile and talk to me like you're unaware.

Nobody is perfect, neither am i. You cannot expect everyone to just forgive and forget so easily, like it's just a joke. People have feelings, so do you. You should understand what it feels like.

I still remember when i got betrayed. Memories dun fade so easily. They're etched in my mind. Sure thing, nice one. First bring my hopes up, then let it all crash down. Good job.

Is there really no true fren who can ignore ur bad points?

Anyways thanks ex-kong hwaians (RZ, Alina, Yuhan, Sek Ee etc). You guys can really cheer me up when i need it. Thanks (:

Gawd i'm just soooo bored that idk what to post -.-

any ideas on wad to do? o.0